This topic will hit very close to home for a lot of women. Myself included, because you are only able to tell when someone is not that into you later on, when it’s kinda too late, because most probably you are already infatuated/in love with the guy. So at this point you sort of lost the battle because you’re wearing the rose- colored glasses and …it’s very hard to take them off. You will, but not willingly and it will take some time.
I know most of you are tired of hearing this, but all the apps and I mean all of them have ruined romantic relationships. I fear the damage is irreparable, but I am willing to be proven wrong (fingers crossed). The relationships dynamic have changed and we’re all just floating in the air, without any direction really and just hoping for the best. You know I never write about a topic I’m not extremely passionate about and of course I’ve debated this one in the group chats, as one does with their besties.
Collectively, we agreed that the worst feeling a woman can have about romantic relationships is disappointment. Cause that feeling will stay in your heart and soul for a long time. It takes a lot for that feeling to go away. You know what’s something that can make that feeling vanish? A man that really knows how to show interest. That’s what men in general lost since Social Media and dating apps. They don’t know or simply don’t want to show interest in pursuing a woman like they used to. In my mind the reason why is because on dating apps they are focusing on so multiple options and their attention is spread all around and of course no human being can share 100% of their attention in multiple places at once. And that’s what women want: 100% of the attention. Men…I’m sorry to breaking to you, but that’s the truth. We all want 110% of your attention cause that’s what it means to have a relationship: to be present and to truly hear, understand and connect with your partner. If you’re not offering that, then what is the actual point?
The signs that he’s just not that into you are there, they are always there. Trust and believe. This is me talking from experience. But we choose not to see them and sometimes it’s not even that, we simply ignore the sings against our best judgment. Why we do that? That’s a topic in itself and I would probably write a new article about it (stay tuned).
I’m writing this article for any woman who has ever asked herself „is this guy truly into me?” and also to be honest for myself as well because sometimes you need a kind reminder of what the signs are so you won’t ever make the same mistake again. One thing I truly hate is making the same mistake twice and if there’s a chance I can help someone learn, grow and move on will 1000.000% do it. And like I said, to keep myself in check in the process as well…because sometimes I need it, I’m not gonna lie.
Here are the signs that he’s just not that into you:
He doesn’t make the first move and wants you to chase him and show him you’re interested in him. That’s one of the worst signs to be honest because clearly you have no business talking or entertaining a man like that. You should be disgusted and repulsed by this behavior in the first place. That’s not a man and let’s leave it at that because I can get very mean and people won’t be able to handle it. Some people just really don’t like hearing the truth and they get their feelings hurt very easily.
He’s very hot and cold and testing you in every way to see how you react. This type of man from my perspective may have multiple options that’s why his behavior is inconsistent. He’s giving you mixed signals because he doesn’t want to lose your attention or access to you, but at the same time he does not deem you good enough for him to commit or take the next step. And trust me, if he’s like that, you will never be the one that’s a guarantee. It’s best to move on and leave him and his childish behavior where he belongs, in the streets. There he will find his match.
He’s nonchalant, appears to be very distant and doesn’t show any true emotions towards you. I’ve witnessed this type of behavior when I was in high school from boys. Emphasis on the „boys” cause that is clearly not a man. When he’s interested, a true man, he will become the most chalant human on this Planet Earth. I am not even joking. When a man is interested you will know immediately and you will not have any doubt in your mind about it. If he’s nonchalant with you is because he’s not that into you and he’s playing a role to see if you will pursue him or not.
He does not pay on the first date, he’s not planning any dates with you, he’s not making an effort to get you know you more or remembers small details about your conversations. In the words of Chandler Bing: Can this be more obvious? If you can’t see that this behavior shows he’s not that into you, I don’t know what to tell you, you might be a lost cause. A man that truly likes you will show you with their actions. Men are action oriented creatures so if he’s not trying to impress you, you’re definitely not his dream girl. If he’s superficial and expects you to go 50-50 is because he does not consider you worthy of his investment in you. You’re not it for him and just move on at this point.
He puts himself in the position to lose you. I’m talking about when he knows something will bother you and his action might start a fight, but he does not care and does it anyway over and over again. Why is that? Not because he likes you. No way, Jose. He’s just not that into you. Trust me, he’s considered the fact that you might break-up with him or stop talking to him all together, but SURPRISE: he does not care. He knows and he does not care. A man that values you, will never put himself in the position to lose you because he’s aware of how important you are to him. If he truly likes you and he messed up, he will make a point to never ever make that mistake again.
He doesn’t yearn for you, he doesn’t make you a priority in his life or wants to make your life easier in any way. Men completely lost the art of yearning for their woman and it shows. Most relationships are trash and people are miserable because they don’t love each other and they’re too afraid to admit it because they’re afraid of dying alone. They’re under the impression that dying alone is worse than sharing your life with someone that you don’t love. Feeling desired, but not necessarily in a lustful way, but more so in a poetic, dreamy, romantic, loving way is something every woman wants to feel. That’s the woman’s POV in love and men simply don’t get it.
There’s a word thrown around in Social Media about the men that truly love their woman and I have thoughts. It’s of course related to the idea I’ve shared above. The word I’m referring to is: simp or simping. The red pill bros have concluded that if you love your woman you’re a simp and if you show her how much you desire and cherish her you’re a simp and she will not respect you or want you. I cannot even express into words how moronic this idea is and how stupid are the people who actually believe it. I’m gonna be as brutally honest as I can be, because that’s what you guys deserve: if you think that, you will die alone and no one will want you ever. Let’s elaborate a bit, shall we?
Women want their man to “simp” over them, they want that type of energy, they actually crave it, trust me. And it’s not simping it’s simply being with the right person and showing your true emotions and intentions. But here’s the catch: the MAN, needs to be the right man, the chosen one, the one, and no one else. So we do want OUR man to “simp” over us, not every man. See or understand the difference? If you’re offering this type of energy to a woman that’s not interested in you…well that’s on you. It’s your fault for being stupid. Live and learn. Only express this energy to the right person and the right person will know what to do and will never reject you for it. Hope this helps.
All of this to say that people simply need to choose better. That’s all they need to do. I’m saying this like it’s easy. It’s not, but it should be as easy as breathing. The good news is, it can become very easy once you’re very in tune with your emotions, you know yourself very well and you’re self-esteem is through the roof. If you want a romantic dynamic to work long term you need to know what you’re looking for and you absolutely need to know what you have when you have it. Don’t make me remind you of Beyoncé’s song „Best thing I’ve never had”. Just listen to it.
Don’t think for a second that if you’ve lost the best thing that could’ve happen to you in this life…that he/she will come around again. Not gonna happen. Who do you think you are? Why would you deserve that in the first place? No, you only get one shot at true happiness and that’s it. People need to understand that time is of the essence here and if you’re wasting it with the wrong people, or even worst, screwing over the good ones… you’ve simply destroyed your life. No if’s or but’s about it.
If people will wake up and live authentically, unapologetically, be their true selves and especially choose to be with the person they love more than anything, their life will be complete. And that’s all she wrote.
Comment section is opened, as always. Feel free to share your own thoughts about this topic.